The just-completed UFA season was the busiest in VHA history, as teams snapped up a bumper crop of free agents in efforts to bolster their lineups for the upcoming VHA 8 season. The following is one key signing or acquisition per team and its potential benefit for that club's chances this year:
Anaheim - Owen Nolan. Signed by the Ducks for significantly less than the real-life Nolan did with Minnesota this off-season, Anaheim may boast the oldest scoring line in VHA history ("Recchi, to Nolan, to Sakic - he scores!") this year, with apologies to some of Rob Parks' previous teams. This signing fits Craig, as he's never worried much about a pixelated simulation's age to begin with.
Atlanta - Jarome Iginla. Man, talk about a sweet top line: Iginla, Heatley and ... ehh ... Kopecky? Ok, well, maybe two-thirds of one. They may have to work some trade magic to get the caliber of player they need to center those two studs. For a complete computer geek, Steve #1 is never afraid to talk deal. Granted, that description applies to just about all of us.
Boston - Brian Rafalski. The B's lost a lot to free agency, but they sure gained a #1 defenseman when they landed him for a cool $6.5M/year on a four-year deal. The offense may need another piece or two, but these Bruins have been seriously re-tooled. Heh heh heh ... he said "tool".
Buffalo - Tom Gilbert. A year ago, 90% of us would have responded with, "Who the f**k is that?" when his name was mentioned. This year, it's just 50%. Nevertheless, this former 4th rounder inked a nice $3.75M/4 year pact with the Sabres this offseason, continuing Buffalo's long tradition of employing 80+ rated defensemen and then positioning them all either IN the net, or within one foot of the goalie to block everything in sight. Expect more of the same this year.
Calgary - Andreas Lilja. The reason I'm profiling him is because he fits Brett's team-building strategy to a tee: real-life scruboid who will doubtlessly grunt and hammer his way to a good season for the Flames, regardless of his ratings or stature. Has anyone ever seen Brett Johnson and Mike Conforto in the same room at the same time?
Carolina - Brian Campbell. The plum of the free agent defensemen, Campbell had the TT placed on him by Anaheim. Carolina's megabucks $6.85M/4 year offer, however, was too rich for Anaheim's blood - not to mention Campbell being about ten years younger than the Ducks typically like to see in a player. The Canes also nabbed Savard, but need more work on the offense before its all said and done.
Chicago - Andrei Markov. Continuing the offseason of big bucks defensemen signings, Markov had $5.9M reasons to land in Chicago. Unfortunately for Chad, he still has $13.3M reasons to buy more players with basically just Johnson and Conforto-style stiffs still available. No worry, however, as Chicago is always active on the trade front.
Colorado - Ed Jovanovski. Yet ANOTHER big-name defenseman changing teams, this time moving 5,200 feet straight up in the air to the Mile High city. The defense looks pretty damn solid, but the fans are going to be chanting "Bring back Foppa!" if Sundin doesn't get it done this year. It's good to see Chris Neil still on the team - he and Alex Ovechkin had a legendary race for most points after the All Star break a few years ago.
Columbus - Tomas Kaberle. That's seven straight defensemen I've profiled, boys. Kaberle was a TT match by our Newfie-esque Steve #2, who argued with HIMSELF in his own email before finally announcing that he was matching the Kaberle offer sheet and retaining him. This team looks to have about, oh, $53M in available cap space next year with all the UFAs it currently has. Go, BJ's!
Dallas - Jussi Jokinen. When you've already spent $9.3M/4 on arguably the world's greatest player, you can't spend much more than $2.75M/3 on a player to sit on his right wing. Vanek - Crosby - Jokinen should make for one of the better top lines in the league. It's too bad "Toskala" means "Cloutier" (which means "Beach Ball" in French) in Finnish. Just kidding, Martin.
Detroit - Johan Franzen. Inflation caught up with this 28 year old power forward, who notched 27 goals but only 38 points, and yet is making a cool $3M/year over four years. Thy Cup runneth over, Henry. 29 teams now want to piss in it, then dump it over your head.
Edmonton - Mark Streit. Yet ANOTHER large-dollar defensive signing. Curiously, for maybe 2/3rds of the UFA period, Streit was getting little action until finally the Oil stepped up gave him five million reasons to be impressed. A few years ago, Edmonton would only do business with Canadians, but now that the local dollar has exploded, chants of U-S-A! U-S-A! and S-W-I-T-Z-E-R-L-A-N-D! S-W-I-T-Z-E-R-L-A-N-D! reverberate through Rexall Place.
Florida - Scott Gomez. Gomez can now laugh at the retro-70's "Frito Bandito" commercials, as with $28M in his pocket over four years, he could practically buy Frito-Lay. Now only if Hammond were as free with his pocketbook as his cyber counterpart and would actually upgrade from dialup to broadband so that he could play a few damn games.
Los Angeles - Willie Mitchell. Not exactly as sexy a signing as Brian Campbell, but L.A. didn't exactly have the cap room, either. Having lost their first division crown in years, the Kings are adopting division-champion San Jose's no-name strategy this season. I wonder if Conforto would consider a Jokinen-for-Gove deal WITHOUT me having to add a first rounder?
Minnesota - Shane Doan. Considering some of the inflation we saw, this $4.3M/3 deal was pretty reasonable, though 90% of the league has a general bias against 31+ year old players. Val, Craig and sometimes Parks - I'm not talking about you. Keep an eye on the Wild this season.
Montreal - Alexandre Ovechkin. Yes, I know they obtained him two years ago, but $9M/year for two years is worth reporting. With Luongo now firmly esconced in Vancouver, the Habs may figure they need to borrow a bit from the (everyone get ready to cringe here) Elliot Grossbard playbook and outscore their opponents. Speaking of which, has anyone ever seen Elliot and Sergio in the ... n/m.
Nashville - Daymond Langkow. Is this finally the year Larry breaks through? Slowly but surely, this team is looking better and better, and the Preds fought the good fight much of last season before falling short. Langkow and Gaborik make for most of a really nice top line. Of course, with 100 trades left for him to go this offseason, who knows how it will all ultimately shake out.
New Jersey - Mike Ribeiro. After decisively remaining indecisive, Brian threw caution to the wind and landed him with a $5M/4 deal. This team appears to have "sleeper" written all over it. Of course, one could say that about its coach/GM as well.

New York Islanders - Chris Phillips. Back to the defensemen! Phillips is noteworthy as a TT'd player who was wooed away by a well-structured offer. The Islanders have a bit of San Jose/Calgary in them with a studs-and-scrubs lineup, but with a gigantic farm system, the future is bright. Now, if only Tom can get keep his mitts off the drunken female barflies long enough to play all of his games ...
New York Rangers - Henrik Lundqvist. Not a ton of cap room in the land of obnoxiously partisan citizens, traffic jams and dilapidated skyscrapers, so big-name free agents weren't really in the offing. However, Lundqvist solidified New York's goaltending for four years by signing a $5.5M/year pact. I miss the cigar-chomping car salesman avatar we had for Art on the old board. Bring it back!
Ottawa - Simon Gagne. Trading for Gagne gave the Senators a bona fide top line of Gagne, Thornton and Sullivan, though the latter was out all year with injuries, so his future is uncertain. The Sens have been cap-strapped ever since, however, so work needs to be done to give them a little more flexibility - not that Rob isn't above attempting a little creative structuring when need be.
Philadelphia - Todd Bertuzzi. Don't unpack your bags, Bert. Having said that, all is well in Flyer-land, as they appear able to roll out four solid lines, a strong defense and capable goaltending. If Bill sticks with this team through the summer, I'll eat my hat. Whaddaya know, just as I'm writing this, a three-team deal involving the Flyers just popped into my email box. Big shock!
Phoenix - Rick DiPietro. A trade this offseason netted them 99-ietro, and the club appears to be building around him. Good thing, as Phoenix scored about a goal every third game last year, or at least it seemed that way. The Sedins hope to help turn that around this year.
Pittsburgh - Alex Kovalev. After getting denied on a few earlier tries, Val finally opened up his wallet and slathered Kovalev with a deal he just couldn't refuse: $6.25M/3. His team may have an average age of about 48, but the pieces appear to be there and the farm is burgeoning with wanna-be's, so there's hope amidst the recessionary rust belt steel mill workers.
St. Louis - Milan Hejduk. St. Louis forgot a zero or two in most of their initial free agent offers, as the players laughed at the palpably low numbers. Toward the end of the process, however, Al figured out that more money = better chances and landed Hejduk with a $6M/4 year offer. A strange trading strategy and an early desire to clear cap space for NEXT season may make this one a long one for St. Louis fans, but we'll see.
San Jose - Dave Gove. I'm sorry, I just HAD to profile him. As I was losing something like five out of eight games against SJ last year, guys like Gove were killing me. Gove becomes a UFA, sits there unwanted for a while until - kaPOW! - San Jose re-acquires with with a three-year, $500k offer. I love it. Gove - Mair - Battaglia may end up being the most overachieving scoring line in VHA history this year, usurping the Gove - Mair - Tapper line LAST year.
Tampa - Dan Boyle. Defense rules! $5.5M/3 makes Boyle a very happy man. This appears to be a team in transition, but with Brodeur in net and some pieces in place, they may surprise, although the division is just ridiculously strong. 90-year old seniors can learn to love hockey down there - if they can just stay awake long enough.
Toronto - Michael Ryder. "Easy" had his offer sheet matched by the Leafs, so he's sticking around for $3M/4. The defense and goaltending look to be the strongest part of this team, however, though a goodly amount of cap space exists for Andrews to continue to paint with. Unlike the real Leafs, this one can make the playoffs.
Vancouver - Vaclav Prospal. Adios, Owen. After his complete disappearance, Sergiowen took over management of the team and landed a few very nice pieces, especially Prospal ($5.25M/4). Prior to that, the lineup was looking decidedly Dave Gove-ish. Now watch Gove beat me give more times a year on Conforto's second line.
Washington - Sergei Samsonov. Welcome back, Sergei! Will's always had an unnatural love for this Russian off-again, on-again sniper. Last year's resurgence netted him a $2.5M/4 year deal with the Caps. Of course, Will can score with anyone - even Dave Gove.